Hurricane Revenge

Last year the Sooners put the whoppin' on an inexperienced Miami Hurricane squad in Norman. This year will be much different. I am certainly not a rocket scientist and much more likened to a hermit with very little knowledge of the outside world but I do know there are a pack of brilliant old men in Las Vegas putting up numbers on where they think the public will put their money. These brilliant old codgers somehow have a sense that the big bad Crimson uniformed Okies is just going to ride into Miami on their rickety old horse drawn Boomer Schooner and come out better than a touchdown more than the Hurricanes.

I might not be nearly as brilliant as those old men but a few facts I am not sure if they have reviewed. First and foremost Boomer Schooners don't fare well in the face of Hurricane winds. They blow over, their wheels fall off, and the inhabitants look for cover in any place other than their dilapidated covered wagon. I saw the whippin' the Hurricanes took last week when they went into Blacksburg, Virginia. It was 31-7. The Canes looked horrible! If you can get over that horrible showing which young, athletic football players have a habit of doing they will be the ones pulling the ambush this week.

In the world of six degrees of separation Oklahoma lost to BYU in Dallas in week one losing their Heisman winning quarterback, Sam Bradford. Well this week the Sooners will be without their bushy haired QB again. So that doesn't bode well for the Sooners. As for the conquerers of the Sooners the apple pie gang in Provo, Utah the Brigham Young Cougars they tasted a vicious defeat just a week ago at the hands of a very athletic Florida State squad. In the same week the Sooners lost to BYU the Seminoles took it on the chin in Tallahassee against the Hurricanes. So based on silly logic the Sooners lost by one to BYU in their backyard of Dallas, BYU lost by 26 to Florida State just to the east of where the brilliant old men are putting up odds in Las Vegas and the Seminoles lost in their house to the Hurricanes by 4 so simple math would say the Canes are 31 points better than Oklahoma plus you can add another six points for the home field advantage. Problem is if you based your predictions on this nonsense your liable to be put in a rubber room before long or just get the bejeezies beaten out of you by your wife if you are pissing away the kiddies college fund betting against the old men just being plain stupid. Thus we come down to the old adage, "That is why they play the game".

Well here is the game. Oklahoma has beefed up their win total taking out teams that needed a paycheck to come to Norman to get their fannies whipped like an old man chained to the bed getting his money's worth at the hands of a young, seductive, leather clad dominatrix. Landshark stadium in Miami on a Saturday night is going to have a few of these lovely ladies discreetly sitting in the stands whooping it up but the real pain will be felt on the field and the lanky mustachioed freshman Landry Jones will be feeling it tonight as the Sooner offensive line put up very little resistance against BYU it's not going to get any easier against a very physical and exceptionally fast Cane defense. Look for a lot of sacks and even more running backs stuffed than hot pockets in an Oklahoma trailer park.

If Oklahoma is going to win the game their defense will need to come up HUGE. We normally don't use caps with such reckless abandon but the defense is going to need turnovers and scores off of turnovers to beat the Canes by better than a touchdown. On the flip side the Sooner defense is very capable of shutting out most teams in the country as they proved against Idaho State and Tulsa but neither of those teams had Jacory Harris or a legion of tall and speedy receivers.

My prediction here is the old men in Vegas putting out the lines were bound, gagged, tied, whipped and were forcibly having their nuts crushed by a pack of Oklahoma dominatrixes who demanded the absurd seven point spread. Come nightfall in South Florida their is going to be a game played on the field and there will be a lot of unhappy Okies losing their covered wagons in the face of the Hurricane that awaits.