The Gators from Gainesville are the top ranked football team in what is deemed as the toughest, most athletic conference in college football. The men riding the rough and tough Gator football machine is the coach of the decade who has won two national championships with the University of Florida but also took the Falcons of Bowling Green to two straight bowl games at the turn of the decade and ran the table at Utah with an undefeated record in 2004 before turning turning down Notre Dame for football wins at Florida. No doubt the most productive coach of the decade if Florida is not the team of the decade.
In the animal world Gators are at home in the swamps and that is Bayou Country where one of the great US deals was made for land from the state of Louisiana for where the purchase was named for all the way across the world of college football encompassing Urban Meyers former school Utah into the Oregon Coast. And what a deal it was a couple of flu ridden blankets, limitless rot gut whiskey, guns, bullets, and probably a couple of bags of cocaine for which the white man might as well take credit for introducing to the red man. What a deal get the Indian liquored up, give him a gun and a little nose candy just to make him restless enough that he starts shooting something up giving the US blue coats reason to take more land forcibly. But for the moment back to Bayou country......Gators fair very well there and they will be squaring off against the Bayou Bengals. Now on a neutral field I would have to take the Bayou Bengal but the Bengal is fictional in Louisiana with the exception of a few zoos they are indigenous to Asia. But for a scrap in the state of Louisiana I would have to take the Gator to catch the Tiger off guard with an underwater attack crippling the big cat before the kill.
Fortunately this Saturday night in Baton Rouge in a place affectionately known as Death Valley where many mascots have shown up and perished in defeat to the Tigers there will be 90,000 plus crazy eyed Cajuns fresh off of two days of marinating themselves in Hurricane juices which is quite the social beverage on the cocktail circuits of Louisiana consisting of various rums, vodkas, and tidied up with some delicious nutritious fruit juices and topped off with the ever sweet cherry taste of grenadine. Oh it is quite the beverage one every college kid and person for that matter should indulge in while visiting the Cajun State. Even those brave Gator souls that will be making the trip to Baton Rouge this Saturday night because sometimes its just better to get a little bit liquored up around the enemy. Because the Florida Gators will be the enemy and the Tigers along with their non-hospitable fans will be making life an absolute madhouse where Tim Tebow will pick up on some bad habits un-conducive to his Bible toting ways. Your bible and the peace sign might work in the Philippines Timmy but there will be no peace for you till after the game is played when the Bayou Band of Miscreants is expecting to hand the top ranked Gators their first loss and elevate them a notch or two up the college rankings.
Obviously gibberish from liquor soaked fans causing mayhem and mythical Louisiana Tigers going to war with Alligators will have nothing to do with this battle on the gridiron. The biggest effect on this game between the chalk lines will be the other team that has a gripe about being the team of the decade. The Louisiana State Tigers have every right to put their name on team of the decade with two national championships themselves. Ironically, both teams won their national titles against the same two teams, Oklahoma and my beloved Buckeyes from Ohio. So we know the team not ranked #1 can play football.
Another factor on the side of the Tigers will be revenge. Nothing like a revenge game to get some of the best athletes in college football ultra motivated. Urban will need his best game plan if he is going to come out of Death Valley with a win. This will also be the biggest test for both teams. LSU is just off of a win between the hedges in Athens, Georgia against fellow SEC tough guy U, the Georgia Bulldogs while the biggest test to date for the Gators was in their house against rookie coach Lane Kiffin's Tennessee Volunteers in a re-building mode.
Timmy Heisman has a huge task that not even Superman is capable of overcoming. Timmy has been likened to Superman but he was hit so hard two weeks ago he is still coming out of his tizzy after being clobbered by a Kentucky lineman under the face guard right in the kisser and those guys in the Bourbon State are not kryptonite. The task to win in Death Valley is much greater. Timmy will have to tighten up his chin strap, jock strap, and any other strap he can tighten up because the noise alone on a Saturday night in Death Valley is enough to send Timmy back to goofyville. The players on the other side are certainly ornery and jacked up to send Timmy and the Gators out of their house with hurt feelings and wounds that will need to be licked.
Timmy is good though; Timmy is great too. Timmy will bring it to the Tigers but if he is going to come out with a win he will not be doing it running away like last year's blowout. This is enough reason to take offense to the 7.5 point spread the old men in Vegas have put on this game. Can you say slap in the face to a team at home that is also making an argument for team of the decade?
If LSU doesn't win this game it will be a SEC clash of the Titans classic that has the makings of being on ESPN Classic Instant Hits and these games are within a touchdown!
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